I suck. I am the worst waitor ever. If I had me as a waitor I would hate me and would want to leave a measely tip but wouldn't cause I'd feel bad. But yes, I suck. I'm slow, don't know what side comes with what or what sauce is stuffed in what blah blah blah. I don't know how to use the computer system, how to cash out. Yeah, I'm sure they see right through my 'experience'.

Today, I did learn that lesbians like Berenger wine and Coors Lite. And that they tip badly. Note to those nice lesbians out there who tip well: this is just information that was handed to me by my supervisors.